A therapist once gave me a personal bill of rights during a difficult period. The list offered something many of us forget to give ourselves: permission to be human, have preferences, set boundaries, feel, change, and make mistakes.
Rights come with respect for other people’s rights, but they do not disappear because someone may disagree. Reading them slowly can reveal which permission feels hardest to believe.
I have the right to ask for what I want.
Andy Proctor, PhD
I can ask, decline, and choose
I have the right to ask for what I want and to say no to requests I cannot meet. I can determine my own priorities and follow my values. Asking does not guarantee agreement, and a boundary does not require hostility.
I can feel and express
I have the right to express positive and negative feelings, including anger toward someone I love. Emotion is information, not a verdict on my character. I remain responsible for expressing it without harm.
I can change and make mistakes
I have the right to change my mind, make mistakes, and release the demand for perfection. New information and growth can lead to a different choice. Accountability and self-respect can exist together.
I am not responsible for everyone else’s behavior
Other people’s actions and feelings can affect me, but I do not control them. I can care, communicate, and repair what is mine without taking ownership of choices another person makes.
I can expect honesty and basic dignity
I have the right to expect honest communication and to be treated as a person whose needs and limits matter. When that expectation is repeatedly violated, seeking support and creating distance may be appropriate.
A practical next step
Write down one right you need today. Beside it, name one respectful action that would honor it: a request, a boundary, a change of mind, a truthful feeling, or a call for support.